Sunday, January 13, 2008

The Italian Famiglia

The truth about Italian Famiglia

Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, front porch, and backyard.

The living room is filled with old Bombonieri (they are too pretty to open) with pouf fancy bows and stale almonds.

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin or all the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-Are-Dee, Franco American, Ragu, Prego, Kraft TV dinner or anything else in a jar box or can.(Tomato paste is the exception.)

The following are Italian Holidays:

1st weekend in October - Grapes for the Wine; 3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes for the sauce. Meatballs are made with pork, veal and beef.

We are Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the antipasto, manicotti, gnocchi and lasagna.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00. The meal went like this... Table is set with everyday dishes...doesn't matter if they don't match...they're clean. What more do you want? All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left. Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because they won't use napkins. Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table. First course, Antipasto...change plates. Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all spaghetti Macaroni)...change plates. After that, roasted meats, roasted potatoes, overcooked vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of the other ones by now). Coffee (Espresso for Nonna, "Merican" coffee for the rest) with Sambuca. Hard cookies (biscotti) to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lay down.

They slept so soundly you could perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia...

The women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna -Half the sentence was English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living room.

Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made you...$20.00 for material. Goofy hair-do from Cousin Angela...$ free. Turning around at prom to see your entire family (including grandparents) standing in the back of the gym...PRICELESS!

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