Today was a particularly challenging day at work for me. There is one individual in the office who expects nothing less than perfection. I am trying to keep things in perspective, but still find myself discouraged at the end of the day. There is such a tremendous amount of information being transferred to me on a daily basis and I find myself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that I can't remember every detail. The phone is extremely busy, I have several projects to juggle, I'm being trained on new procedures on a daily basis, and meanwhile I still have all of the daily tasks to keep up with (preparing the conference room for meetings, ordering lunches, keeping the coffee pots filled, preparing Fedex and mail packages, scheduling appointments, scanning and uploading documents, printing out calendars, etc. I am good at multi-tasking, but the challenge comes when all of the information is new and I'm interrupted by the phone every time I start to delve into something. Tonight I felt totally beaten down and inadequate. Jay and Kendall offer so much encouragement and it really helps to come home to loving arms and the words that I need to hear like, "You are very capable, don't be so hard on yourself. We believe in you!" But, once you start that downward spiral it's hard to get out of it. I keep reminding myself that it will get easier. Things will come together and I only have to be at the front desk for a couple of months and once tax season is over, things will calm down and I can focus on the task at hand without having everyone coming at me at once.
I was checking my email tonight and was reading my weekly Scrappers Guide newsletter (messages from God can come from the most unexpected of places!) and Linda, the editor of the newsletter included a link to her story of the heart attack she experienced at the ripe young age of 51 and she listed a scripture that she was mediating on shortly before her heart attack and it was exactly what I needed to meditate on right now, so I thought I would post it here to share with others that may be experiencing a time of trial.
The scripture is from James 1
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
That's exactly what I need to do right now - let patience have its perfect work. I don't need to focus on having patience with the one individual who is expecting perfection from me, I need to have patience with myself and allow the positive comments that come my way to permiate my heart rather than spending all of my energy focusing on my inadequacies. We all have them! I know that things will get easier. I know that I can do this job! I know that God put me here and He will see me through. I just need to give myself a break. It's so much harder to do than it is to say, but I will meditate on the message that God brought me to night and I hope that through my openness, I can help others with the same struggles.
My friends, please pray for me during this time.